Hello, gentle readers,

The Nutty Writer Lady is back, and the nutty side of her brain must have been working overtime. Of course, that's no surprise considering the six years I spent earning two B.A. degrees and one M.A. (one in religion, two in English. I am not a supporter of dirty musicals (isn't that an oxymoron?) but the song from Avenue Q comes to mind).

Ooooohhhh, what do ya do with a B.A. in En-glish...

Okay. Better now.

My point is, sometimes my brain works overtime, especially when I can't sleep. I suspect I am an insomniac. Sometimes, I put myself to sleep with "things to ponder." If you've never seen these or haven't seen a really good list in awhile, here are some of my favorites:

1. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
2. Whatever happened to the other 6 UP's?
3. (For my Southern readers and fellow grammarians) How can something be "in" the floor and "on" the floor at the same time? Same principle for chairs. I mean, really.
4. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
5. (For people like me who love cheesy sitcoms) Didn't you ever wish just one time, the main problem could only be solved in say, two hours?
6. What if the hokey pokey really IS what it's all about?
7. Oh, here's one that makes me scream: Why do doctors leave the room when you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
8. And another one that drives me nutty: Why do some books have those annoying blank pages in the back? I hate buying a nice, long 350-page book and discovering that 10 of those pages are blank.
9. Someone explain this to me: WHAT is the fascination with dating vampires and werewolves all of a sudden? If I wanted to date a bloodsucker, I'd go to EHarmony and pick out a lawyer. And if I wanted to date a hairball, I'd...never mind.
10. And why, oh, why do you have to know how to spell something before you can look up how to spell it?!?!

Okay, you get the idea. Sometimes pondering the imponderables of life are fun (and hey, if any of you out there have others to send me, I welcome them). But I actually wanted to end this post with an inspirational revelation for you.

If you've hung around long enough, you know I'm a serious Christian, but that doesn't mean I understand God. I mean, He's GOD. I'm not supposed to understand Him fully, right? But He and I currently have a sticking point between us: I'm having trouble accepting some of His heavenly truth when I have to live down here with earthly truth. Such as: sometimes, He has to convince me I have a great purpose, when the earthly truth is that I have a disability that currently has me feeling rather "shelved." He has to convince me I'm beautiful, when the earthly truth is that I'm just a medium-sized woman who used to be a size 6, until she gave up her legalistic diet and indulged in the ice cream one time too many.

And then I thought, hey, I'm not the only one with this problem. I mean, how does a serial murderer accept forgiveness from others and him or herself while still knowing the murders were horrific sins? How did the Katrina victims keep believing God (not believing IN God), while knowing they'd lost everything and would probably spend a year or more in a FEMA trailer? How do people with cancer believe God for healing when the earthly truth is that the cancer is stage 4 and that treatment only has a 15% shot at making any difference?

I don't know the answer to that one, despite that Religious Studies B.A. But the key is, I'm working on it. And God is gonna hang in there with me while I do. After all, He created me as an intellectual. He must've known what He was in for, right? :)